I thought I needed a blog.
I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to say.
I thought I knew why I wanted to do this.
And now that I sit down to write. I don’t know anything.
I used to have opinions. That’s not exactly true. I still have opinions. It’s just that I don’t feel comfortable sharing them anymore.
I figure an obscure blog in the middle of the Internet is a place I can express myself. I can write about all the opinions I’m not willing to say out loud anymore.
Maybe no one will ever see this.
But I can at least get things off my chest that otherwise make me feel … I don’t know.
ALONE? IGNORED? ABOUT TO EXPLODE?
Maybe the people who can actually “get” me will find me. Maybe I will make some like-minded friends. I’ve heard of them – sounds like something I’d like to do.
Most of the time I feel like I’m surrounded by people who really don’t get it. People who can’t get it. People who want me to be quiet, or nice, or something that I just don’t seem to be – at least not anymore.
When I was younger, everyone liked me. They used to say I was a good listener. But I can’t listen anymore. I quit caring about people when I started feeling like no one cared about me.
So I’m trying to let out some of that stuff I can’t say.
I’m hoping it will make me a better person. That I will be able to listen again. To care again.
Maybe even to make a difference somehow.